“Opening minds and angravating liberals since 2001”
“I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.”
Genesis 3:19/ John 3:16
My Friends and Fellow Cancelled Voters:
(OPEN BAR: Today is Wednesday, prolly no surprise to most of you. That is unless you have been commiserating ad nauseam with Johnnie Walker, Jim Beam, Jack Daniels or the like. As you may or may not have become accustomed, I gen’ly endeavor to send this tantalizing array of awry thought out on Tuesdays and most Saturdays – at no extra charge, and barely worth that. Oftime when the issue does not go out on time it is due to either my having run out of daylight to conjure up an issue or on occasion there is nothing about which to write. This may come as a surprise to some/most/all but I do not wish to bang out something for drill which is not salient or germane. You might surmise that my level of things which I think passes for an item of interest is set low. You surmise accurately. But, all it takes at times is a word, a phrase or something else in an email or a tweet from one of which is the acorn from which a mighty FISH blossoms, to mix metaphors. But the tardiness of this particular missive was not due to an influx of work or an outflux of inflatus but for purpose. As this issue will discuss very briefly some of the characters and creatchures aspiring to the Big Chair, what better day to trot them out than today, the First of April – April Fool’s Day. Enjoy!)
The Beauty Contest is starting.
The 2016 Presidential list of wannabes!
The Republicrats are boasting the likes of John Bolton, Jeb Bush, Ben Carson, Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, Carly Fiorina, Jim Gilmore, Trey Gowdy, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, Lindsey Graham, George Pataki, Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Donald Trump, Scott Walker and others.
The Liberal Socialist Democrats (LSD) (you HAVE to be tripping!) are considering Corey Booker, Hillary Clinton, Andrew Cuomo, Howard Dean, Rahm Emanuel, Martin O’Malley, Mark Warner, Elizabeth Warren, Jim Webb and more that ilk.
There are a large number of other Liberals whose names are being bandied about. From Ben Affleck to Sherrod Brown to Kristin Gillibrand to Janet from Another Planet to Vermin Supreme and more. (I am not joking about the last one, you can look it up.)
Of course, there are always a few ultra-nutty-loonies running and they typically are the one issue types. (Looking at the laundry list of lib losers, that is saying something!) Like the dude that ran for mayor of New York on the “The Rent is Too Damn High” ticket. So, you can imagine what his one issue was.
(However, later on it was discovered that he was living in a house rent free. As a result of a blatant lie and running on an issue in which he had no beef, he was forced to register as a Democrat.)
While it is far too early to have a presumptive candidate for either party (especially as only one “viable” candidate has announced) and there are a brazillion candidates suggested/suggesting, I am not going to spend a lot of time on each. Perhaps just a positive (relatively speaking) and a negative for each.
For those of you who have asked me who I like, I will repeat what I have said: There is only one person I could trust 100% to run the joint and I am about two-billion dollars short to wage a campaign. Who my second choices are will be determined once the field has been winnowed to a reasonable number.
So, to quote Gary Mark Gilmore, “Let’s do it.”
Socialists, Liberals and Democrats:
Corey Booker: Positive: He has done it on his own and has done a pretty fair job cleaning up the sewer that is Newark. Negative: He is an ultra-liberal Biff-Lite. (For the record, Biff has tainted the possibility of a black Democrat being elected perhaps for generations. IMHBVAO.)
Hillary Clinton: Positive: Has a lot of experience. Negative: None of it good. Is considered a liar and untrustworthy by those in her own party. She could be picked because the Left gets nothing right.
Andrew Cuomo: Positive: Looks good in a suit. Negative: Is a cry-baby hypocritical megalomaniac. So, he could be a VEEP candidate. (I live in NY, he is the governor. I ASSURE you, I do NOT have his horrible accent and improbable speech pattern.)
Howard Dean: Positive: He is humorous. Negative: He is insane.
Rahm Emanuel: Positive: All but guaranteed the dead vote. Negative: Is in a run-off for his own job against someone hardly anyone has heard of in a city that he owns.
Martin O’Malley: Positive: No one as heard of this former governor of Maryland. Negative: If you did, you prolly know of his “alleged” affair with a news woman who “allegedly” was run over by a car as she was about do a report on TV. This “allegedly” happened after his wife learned of this “alleged” affair.
Mark Warner: Positive: This senator from Virginia is like any guy you know who is worth over a quarter of a billion dollars and married a girl he met at a frat kegger. Negative: He is a party hack with ties to big business and banks and has a spotty record with respect to elections he has had involvement in any way.
Elizabeth Warren: Positive: Has not, er, um, ah, I mean… Negative: Per the previous issue, she brings a lot to the table. Sadly it is all baggage. Seems to be unacquainted with the truth in many issues.
Jim Webb: Positive: Decorated Nam Vet. Negative: Prolly has second or third most skeletons in his closet that are sure to arise to his and his party’s discomfort, if they had any shame.
RINO’s, Republicrats and Republicans:
John Bolton: Positive: Brilliant man and one of the brightest with respect to foreign matters. (Did not want to say “affairs” so as not to insult the Dems.) Negative: Bombastic and comes off too tough. (I love the guy.)
Jeb Bush: Positive: John Ellis Bush is married to a Latina. Negative: Is all over the place with his convoluted message. (We need another Bush like Custer needed more Indians.)
Ben Carson: Positive: A brilliant man who put Biff in his place. Bona fides are generally good though there is some kerfuffle about is fealty to the Second Amendment. (Misinformation?) Negative: Biff spoiled it for a man of color to ascend to the presidency. Maybe VEEP?
Chris Christie: Positive: Speaks his mind. Reminds one of William Howard Taft. Negative: Too many suck-ups with Biff and his excuses for doing so are pathetic. Reminds one of William Howard Taft.
Ted Cruz: Positive: Is a Conservative, is a brilliant man and skillful debater. Negative: Is not warm and fuzzy, rubs people the wrong way. (Because he was born Canadania all of a sudden the Dems have a great interest in who is eligible to be president. His mother is American, he has never taken any steps to accept Canadanian citizenship [as he left there when he was four years old], ergo he is a natural born American and Constitutionally is eligible.)
Carly Fiorina: Positive: A very bright, very successful female. Negative: Not that widely known outside of business circles and may be tainted by the “female brush” due to the case of Liberal wimmens who can’t seem to do anything right, tell the truth and/or keep their feets out of their mouths. (Sadly, about 99% of the Lib wimmens give the rest a bad name.)
Trey Gowdy: Positive: Brilliant prosecutor and has the gonadature to Pitt-bull anyone. Negative: Is not warm and fuzzy either, while sort of charismatic his demographics do not translate to a win. (I’d vote for him but perhaps he could be a REAL AG!)
Bobby Jindal: Positive: Adds another dimension to the face of the Republicans. Negative: Not that highly regarded in his own state. Seems not to have a clear vision of what he really wants to do. (If he was a bit more Liberal, he could be a conservative Dem candidate.)
Mitt Romney: Positive: Telegenic, good communicator, great problem solver, except for one thing. Negative: The one thing is he can’t get elected President. He SHOULD have won last time but he let Biff off the hook at the second debate and let the ultra-biased Candy Crowley feed Biff (wrong) answers and let her call the ball. Had he pantsed Biff as he did in the first debate and called Crowley out for her partisanship, I am convinced we would be discussing his re-election. Let JEB and him buy their own country to run.
Donald Trump: Positive: He appears to be a winner in everything he touches, driven, good bona fides. Negative: Has an ego bigger than Biff’s which is off-putting to some. (While not taking up for him, his is far more deserved.) He could get my vote.
Scott Walker: Positive: Is pilloried by the SRMFM so he must be threat. Instrumental in making Wisconsin a right-to-work state. Negative: Is not widely known and that gives the SRMFM to define him. I am not sure that he can overcome that.
There are others, of course, who aspire to the big chair. Virtually every Democrat in Congress thinks he or she deserves the job. In the exception that proves the rule of the Peter Principle, they can’t even do their current jobs well so they are ripe for promotion.
On the Republican side there are the likes of Jim Gilmore Mike Huckabee, Lindsey Graham, George Pataki, Rick Santorum among others who are considered by others (or themselves in some cases) to be viable candidates.
I did not profile them (yet) as I do not see any of them going any further. But, I have been wrong before.
Feel free to let me know your thoughts, ideas and faves. It would be great if you could post your opinions on the website so you can see what others are thinking and perhaps discuss!